Prepare for a Fate Worse than Death

No, the title is not a references to finals week which begins oh too soon. It is a warning to my dearly beloved sister. See that picture? The Joker is in a cell being interrogated by the police. Then the police leave for a minute and Batman comes out of the shadows. In this image Joker has an expression of, "Hey, I think I hear a ninja coming." This thought will be quickly followed by Joker's head meeting the tabletop in painful impact.

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So, in this setup my sister is The Joker and I am Batman. Meaning I get to pummel her mercilessly all over town.

Why does she deserve this, you wonder? Did she, perhaps, rob a bank and make her getaway in a school bus? Or maybe she set a firetruck on . . . fire. Then again, she might have blown up a hospital. None of these. This was a crime that the law can't reach . . .

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It was four in the morning. I had been up late, getting stuff done, and it felt as if I had just drifted off to sleep. Also, I only had three more hours of sleep time left. Then, in the stillness of the early morning hours . . . my cellphone begins to vibrate on the far end of the desk; out of my reach.

Bzzzzzzzzz.

Figuring it is a wrong number (it was 4am, for goodness's sake!) I let it ring and hang up. I turn over and settle down again.

Bzzzzzzzzz.

Ignore it. Ignore it. I pull the blanket over my head. It stops. Realizing it might be an emergency at home, I reach over and pick up the phone. There is one voicemail message on it. I dial my voicemail and listen to the message.

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It would seem my dearly beloved sister had gone to the midnight showing of X-men Origins: Wolverine. Since she is going to a college in a time zone two hours behind, it was 2am there. The message was somewhat incoherent. Maybe I was just too sleepy to understand. I caught "awesome!" "epic" and "Deadpool! Deadpool! Deadpool!"

Okay, whatever. I put the phone down and adjust my pillow for maximum comfort.

Bzzzzzzzzz.

I pick up and say in a tired, annoyed voice, "Hello?"

My sister, brilliant, asks in tones of realization, "Oh, did I wake you up?"

What does she think I do at four in the bloody morning? Play solitaire?

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So, be forewarned, endearing sibling, and prepare for a Bat-Beating.

Too bad she never reads this blog.